Authors Note: My grand daughter Bailey has loved horses from the moment of her first encounter. It was a few years back now, when her Grandma Mac took her riding on a horse called ‘Goldie’. This is that story and it began a deep love of horses. Since then Bailey has become a very accomplished rider, competing in barrel racing competitions. It has always amazed me to see a young girl riding hell bent for leather atop a fifteen hundred pound animal, careening around barrels at break neck speed. It is very brave and at its best is a human and a horse connected in a way only they can understand. This past week Bailey’s horse ‘Stoogie’, her barrel racing partner died suddenly and it was devastating for her. The pain is sharp but with time it will subside and she will be left with wonderful memories of her companion. I wrote this blog after Bailey’s first horse ‘Goldie’ died. It says what I want to say to Bailey now, even in her sadness but it doesn’t say anything she doesn’t already know. It is a love letter to Bailey. You can listen if you prefer.

“Hi Bailey, would you like to go riding with me?”

It was Grandma Mac on the phone. She knew Bailey loved horses and could remember back when she was a little girl and how she would dream about a magical horse and how she would take care of her and love her. When she was a teenager Grandma Mac would go to summer camps at dude ranches, living what would become some of the most cherished memories of her early life. Besides she’d love to do something special with Bailey, just the two of them.

Bailey’s young face lit up, a big excited ‘yes’ written all over it, before any words came out. She’d started riding and it was already her favourite thing to do, even if it did mean mucking out stalls. Her dad was a cowboy at heart and he loved to teach her about horses, how to ride them, how to take care of them. She even loved the stinky smell of the barn.

So Grandma Mac and Bailey did go riding. The horses were at a small farm up in Ellison, just north of Kelowna BC, the town where Bailey lived at the time with her mom and dad and her brother Koby.

Bailey giggled to herself when she saw Grandma Mac get up on her horse. She could tell Grandma was nervous. For her part Grandma was excited, and she giggled to herself when she saw Bailey get up on her horse. She could tell she was nervous.

Bailey’s horse was a beautiful golden mare, with a gorgeous mane and deep brown eyes. She looked into those eyes and could see her horse was also a little bit anxious. Why wouldn’t she be? She had no idea who this young girl was or how she would be treated.

“Hi Goldie” Bailey said, naming the horse effortlessly, “Don’t be nervous, we’re going to have a great time. I’m Bailey by the way.”

Goldie relaxed. She and her friends could tell right away if these riders they carried most days were kind and if they knew about horses. And this little girl for sure did.

And off they went up into the hills above Ellison.

Jack, the lead rider turned back and told Bailey, “Oh by the way, you can call her Goldie.”

“I know” said Bailey realizing that might sound rude,

“She looks like a Goldie to me.”

If a young girl can fall in love in the time it took for a trail ride, Bailey did. She loved everything about it; being with Grandma Mac, being out in the open, being on this beautiful horse.

Probably sensing that Bailey was in ‘hook, line and sinker’ Jack said, “Goldie’s for sale actually. Give you a good price.”

Bailey didn’t need an invitation, “Really, oh … oh … oh” she was trying to gather the words bouncing around her head, “My daddy can buy Goldie for me”.

Her eyes were dancing reflecting the uninhibited imaginations of a happy young girl.

Grandma Mac was thrilled they’d had such a great time together but worried that Niffer and Devon, Bailey’s mom and dad would not be thrilled with the news. “Oh it’s probably a passing thing anyway. Bailey will get interested in something else, I’m sure.” Grandma Mac thought it, even said it out loud to herself but she knew the answer already.

“Daddy, daddy, I went with Grandma Mac today and it was so much fun and they gave me a horse called Goldie actually I called her Goldie and then they told me her name was Goldie and then we went up the hills and it was so beautiful and we fed her and cleaned her after and this man Jack says Goldie is for sale and we can have her daddy, oh please daddy please”

Devon had never heard her so excited and what Bailey couldn’t know is that Devon was thrilled that she was. His happiest childhood memories were from being on the ranch and riding his favourite horse.

He was sold at ‘Oh daddy, please … please’.

Two weeks later Goldie was in her new home at a beautiful ranch just north of Kelowna. This was the Ritz Hotel compared to anything she’d had before.

“This is nice” she neighed quietly to her stablemate in the next stall, “Is it always like this?”.

Then Bailey showed up, “Goldie, Goldie I love you so much, I’m going to take care of you everyday I’m going to ride you and feed and clean you and muck your stall, although it’d be okay with me if you cutdown on your output on that end.” She giggled softly at her own joke.

Goldie smiled, “Boy this little girl talks fast, I’m going to have to teach her how to take a breath. But she seems to be so nice. I am one lucky puppy.” She knew her friends would be confused by the ‘puppy’ thing but she knew what she meant and that’s all that matters. Besides, it was something her own mother had always said.

Goldie and Bailey spent endless happy hours together. Goldie learned very quickly that Bailey was a natural rider and even better a natural ‘horse person’. It’s a thing, she thought, Google it, you’ll see. The pair were inseparable.

When Goldie wasn’t feeling so well Bailey and her dad would come down to check up on her. Devon was teaching her about taking care of a horse and she was the lucky one they were taking care of. Goldie knew what it was like not be loved, not to be cared for. She could remember when previous owners wouldn’t feed her all the time, or leave her out in the cold or not clean her stall for days. And that made finding Bailey so special for Goldie. She knew she was in the last few years of her life and if Bailey was going to be part of that, Goldie figured she was one lucky puppy!

Bailey joined 4H, the club for kids who wanted to learn about animal husbandry. Goldie had never understood that ‘animal husbandry’ name.  No one was getting married, sure as shootin’, but if that’s what these humans wanted to call it, who was she to say it’s a silly name. All Goldie knew was that Bailey had become The Best Horse Owner Ever.

She was the envy of her friends at the barn, always telling her she was so lucky to have Bailey, as though Goldie didn’t know that already, though she never tired of hearing her friends say it.

As the years passed Goldie’s aches and pains grew. She was okay with that. Her momma had taught her about this. She called it The Circle of Life and Goldie can remember her saying, in that comforting mamma voice, “Don’t worry sweetheart, when your time comes, you’ll be okay with it. It happens to all of us.”

Goldie didn’t like hearing her mother talk about dying, “I don’t want to die mamma.”

“I know Goldie, I know but if you’re lucky you’ll have had a good life and you’ll have made good friends.  If you’re really lucky you’ll have had a great owner who loves you and takes care of you and shares adventures with you. If you have that you’ll be one lucky puppy.”

Goldie reflected on her mother’s words. She was right, she thought, “I am lucky. I met Bailey and she’s loved me with all her heart. And I love her. She gave me everything. She gave me her gift of time and love and I hope I gave her something back, something that maybe she’ll take with her for the rest of her life.”

Goldie leaned down as Bailey gently brushed her mane, “I’ve taught her how to love. How to love with all her heart. Taught her to understand that it can be painful sometimes. I know she’ll be very sad when I die but I hope she’ll understand that it is the best way to live, it’s the only way to live. To be in love is okay, tears and all, it’s okay.”

“Besides” she thought, “I’ll never die. I’m going to stay alive deep inside Bailey’s imagination and in her heart, the place where happy memories go to be saved for all time. And she won’t have to muck out my stall there. Bailey and I will remember each other forever.”

Goldie dropped her head for another mouthful of delicious hay that Bailey had just put down in front of her.

“Night Goldie”

“Night Bailey. Sweet dreams.”