‘He’s a good egg.”

It’s a friendly, old fashioned way to describe a good, kind person. I’ve met many good eggs since I retired and some of them have taught me stuff or perhaps they have just helped me see what has been hiding in plain view all my life. Three of them standout.

Do something good. It seems so simple right? I spent most of my life striving to be good at something. Turns out they’re not the same thing. I was a good criminal defence lawyer. I was a good radio morning show cohost and I’m proud of that but being good at something is not the same as doing something good.

Most of us spend our lives imagining, pursuing and trying to achieve various goals. Some of them are trivial others important and difficult to achieve, some even change the trajectory of our lives when they’re fully realized. Even then we often feel as though something is missing.

Or perhaps it was just me.

So now that I’m retired and I have time to chew my porridge and think things through, here’s what I’ve come to think about it all. Everywhere I look I meet people who have lived full lives, people who by any measure we would call successful. Some have accumulated wealth, built companies, and been feted for their achievements. Others have lived quiet, humble lives raising families living in relative anonymity, all of them striving to be good at what they do. When our time in the arena is over most of us leave with a list of accomplishments and a sense of satisfaction.

So why is it then that many of us we face the prospect of not working with real anxiety, wondering now that work is over what we will do? Wondering how we will replace what we were so good at, so fulfilled by. I was one of those people for sure.

And that’s the hiding in plain view part. I think there’s a trick to this whole thing: Let go of what you were good at, I mean really let it go and then replace it by doing something good.

Now as you know if you read my stuff I am seventy-three (on account of I never appear to miss an opportunity to tell you my age). I do that not because it is remotely interesting but because my age is my context. It is against that backdrop I write. And on this topic I have not done well. I am only now coming to understand how simple the answer is and I have come to that understanding by watching ordinary, everyday people do some things that are good. What is really humbling is to meet people who came to understand this long before their working lives were over.

Kevin Edgecombe is a good egg, an immensely successful builder in Kelowna BC, a booming mid sized city in the interior of British Columbia about three hundred and fifty kilometres east of Vancouver. He is good at what he does and highly respected in his community. Each year Kevin goes to Nepal with several others. They go with annual goals to continue building a school near Kathmandu and provide tangible support, education and training for young Nepalese girls who have been bound to labour contracts at a very young age, a harsh and cruel reality in an impoverished country. Kevin, his wife Linda and many others connected to this organization (www.herinternational.org) seek neither recognition nor publicity other than that which can help to raise money for the work to be done. Each member of the team pays their own way and give their time without compensation. Getting there is risky and upon arrival the work is gruelling. And for Kevin it is “the most fulfilling thing I have ever done”. Kevin is good at what he does in Kelowna but it is in do something good that he has found real fulfillment. I have not spoken with Kevin about this blog and he might well find it simplistic in my description. It certainly doesn’t have the dirt and grime and sweat that is part of the real lived experience but that is not my purpose in telling his story. I’ll ask his forgiveness later.

When I moved to Nanaimo on BC’s Vancouver Island a year ago I found a barber, Dave Lawrence. He owns the 50’s Barber Shop (www.that50sbarbershop.com), which he says is the oldest barbershop in BC, dating back over a hundred and thirty years. His shop is right downtown surrounded by Nanaimo’s sprawling homeless population. Turns out he’s a good egg too. He’s a big, bluff man working hard to raise a young family, no doubt facing the financial pressures of every family these days. His little shop is uniquely decorated and a real throwback to the 1950’s. Dave is good at what he does but he also does something good. It’s called Fresh Start: Back to School. In September each year Dave gives free haircuts to hundreds of school kids from poor families. They all get a goodie bag and some vouchers for school supplies and so on. He seeks neither recognition nor publicity other than that which helps to raise money for his project. As these things do, it is growing now and gaining some corporate support but none of it would have happened without Dave. You can find Fresh Start: Back to School on FB. He is a good barber indeed but he is also doing something good.

I met Ron Brown at the Departure Bay Dog Park in Nanaimo. He’s another good egg. Easy to talk to, quick with a smile Ron had done well in his career and was looking forward to a trip to his favourite island in Greece when I first met him. Ron and his wife were heading over to Vancouver to meet a young Ukrainian mother and her teenage boy, refugees from the war in Ukraine. They were opening their home to them and would offer safe shelter and transition support for many months. It struck me as selfless and generous and I knew that it would visit some challenges into their own lives. Ron already knew what it was like to be good at something but this was something different. This was doing something good.

There are countless other examples of course. You will know of others or you may have done something good yourself. We had a friend spend the weekend with us in Deep Bay on Vancouver Island recently. She has had an impressive career in health care and is looking at the end worrying out loud about what she will do next. She has been fulfilled by being good at something and is anxious about the space ahead. I get it, I had the same worries but I think the answer is hiding in plain view.

Let go of what you were good at, I mean really let it go and replace it by doing something good.

With any luck you’ll meet some good eggs along the way.