First things first. My nickname is Bumpy. I absolutely love my nickname. It’s what my grandchildren call me. Not quite sure how it happened but those of you who have followed my blog will know that I have searched my life over for a nickname, even stooping to nickname myself, as I headed into Grade 8 at Kelowna High. “George” I announced solemnly and with as much gravitas as a young teenager could muster, “I should like to be called George”. I had somehow managed to persuade myself that this new nickname would break down any romantic barriers the girls in my school had thrown up. Yeah, nothing. Absolutely nothing. My grade 8 dating life was a barren as a nude beach on a cold day. No prospects, not one. But then again you would have known that before I told you. If you want more on this sorry low point in young Tony’s life you might want to check out tonywithacapitalt.ca

https://tonywithacapitalt.ca/2022/09/30/on-hemorrhoids-nicknames-and-belonging/

Sufficient to say my lifelong quest for a nickname has continued until now. But now I can shout to the heavens “I am 75 and MY NICKNAME IS BUMPY!”

As I reread that opening it all feels a bit climactic, as in where do I go from here, particularly considering I had no intention of going off on my nickname, like that. So, let’s regroup shall we. None of that is relevant to this particular blog other than I’m using it to illustrate the essential importance of the Mighty Comma. Absorb the meaningful impact of the itty-bitty comma, as reflected below.

Let’s eat Bumpy

Let’s eat, Bumpy

In the first without the critical support of the Mighty Comma, I am an appetizer, in the second with the comma now safely installed, I am the subject of an invitation. I much prefer the latter.

It should be abundantly clear to all of us that the Mighty Comma is misunderstood. Who among us hasn’t driven through a school zone and seen the insistent sign:

SLOW KIDS CROSSING.

Really? Really! Come on, and in a school zone. The irony hits you like a frying pan in the face. Bad punctuation AND name calling, all in one sign, in a school zone! The harsh truth revealed for all to see at 30/kph. Even schools have no respect for the Mighty Comma.

One comma, one simple well placed comma and it goes from bullying students to admonishing drivers:

SLOW, KIDS CROSSING.

As I researched the Mighty Comma I came to understand that the comma is the most controversial punctuation mark, complicated even more so because it plays a role as grammar but also because the Mighty Comma informs the reader on rhythm and flow of the sentence. A well placed Mighty Comma groups words and phrases together to make the sentence understandable, as the author intended. I mean imagine your doctors shock to see your written answer to a simple question, as you fill out a questionnaire in the lobby:

Q. Describe your symptoms.

A. Unable to eat diarrhea.

Let the Mighty Comma come to the rescue.

A. Unable to eat, diarrhea.

The Mighty Comma you see, informs tone and delivery and meaning, a friend to anyone who wants to be understood. I know there are those among you who dismiss me as a daft old man, spelunking tediously through the inner recesses of his mind, seeking amusement in the punctilious nooks and crannies of punctuation.. Well to you naysayers I offer you proof, although harm may come to you, if you choose to take up this challenge.

Write a card or a letter to your spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend, or partner, as you choose. In that card inscribe the following:

Woman without her man is nothing.

Go on, I dare you.

Then let the Mighty Comma rescue you from your silent purgatory.

Woman, without her, man is nothing.

You are welcome.