6’s or 9’s

I know a guy. Nice guy. On any given day up to his ass in alligators, dealing with one serious issue after another from the moment he arrives at work each day. Actually, that’s an inaccurate description. My friend enjoys no hiding place, no safe oasis into which work is not allowed to intrude. He is ‘on’ all the time and it is exhausting.

On top of all that he is caring for a sick family member. In short, my friend is running at full load and has been for years now.

I was reaching out to him recently asking how we was doing? Knowing that he was overwhelmed with demands on his time. I caught up to him as he was waiting with his family member in a hospital.

“Perspective” came his one word answer.

I think I nodded. I know I smiled. These moments of sharp defined wisdom come to us when we’re under stress.

“Nothing else matters just now.” he added.

So what is this perspective thing of which we speak?

Resilience is our ability to adapt to tough times and absorb stress. Perspective is how we view those tough times, how we view stress. It helps put it all in a manageable light.

‘No more periods.” explained another friend, as she was talking about an operation to remove her uterus. By any measure a consequential, and physical challenge for a young woman, with a minefield of experiences to follow in the years ahead. ‘No more periods’ was her answer to all that, changing the angle from which she was viewing what was ahead, adding something meaningful, even lighthearted depending on the company.

Oh for goodness sake. I’m struggling here. this is not my thing. You don’t need me going on about stuff like this. Goodness knows everybody has an opinion about something or other these days. Well, sure I do as well but between you and me, it bores me to tears, can’t imagine what it does to a reader or someone having to hear me drone on. Besides my weapon of choice in Life has always been humour, not balanced meanderings about say, perspective. That, one might expect from a bloviating blowhard of advanced years, but that is not who I am.

Well, depending on your perspective, one supposes.

My great friend David taught me a lot about perspective and he used it daily to blunt the pain he endured as he was being treated for cancer. He and I were a morning show team in Kelowna British Columbia, a medium sized town about 300 kilometres due east of Vancouver. Each day after our show he would go down to the BC Cancer Agency for testing. The program he was on was experimental and oncologists from around the world visited Kelowna to learn about it. David would see those oncologists each morning. He was draped but otherwise wearing very little, necessary needles and tubes tucked into various openings. It was to say the least undignified and yet David retained his dignity throughout and he did it with perspective and humour. During our morning show David would regale me with hilarious anecdotes from the day before.

‘Good day Mr. Larsen.”

David would feign a posh English accent or Scottish or Indian depending on the oncologist’s country of origin, the doctor using the same tone he would when greeting a passerby on a Sunday morning walk.

“And how are we doing today.”

Under any other circumstance a courteous salutation but wIth one’s feet in stirrups, wearing only a hospital gown, perhaps not quite reading the room. David though found the humour in it and used it to see him through what by any measure was a grim experience, each and every time.

“I’m well, thank you for asking.”

Actually, I have been accused of not having perspective in the past and I thought that of myself many times but not there.

Now that’s funny. I wish it was mine but it’s not.

Two children are on a beach.

‘Make numbers in the sand.” shouts one of the parents.

The children busy themselves. After a few minutes they’re done and turn back, seeking approval.

“What is it?” asks one of the parents. The boys stand up, one on each side of their handiwork.

“It’s a 9.” replies one of the boys.

“No. it’s a 6.” says the other.

Perspective.